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Oh, how I wish I had adequate words to describe 2021.
I mean how could one describe the best of times and the worst of times.
And what’s even crazier I don’t remember much of what happened during the past 365 days.
What I do know is that many of the hopes and dreams I had for a better 2021 did not see the light of day. I also know that there were days when I experienced God’s amazing grace to receive what I did not deserve and God withholding what I thought I just had to have. With the best churchy language that I have, I loudly exclaim THANK YOU GOD FOR KEEPING ME EVEN WHEN I DID NOT WANT TO BE KEPT! (IYKYK)
Honestly speaking with all my successes of starting a new job and beginning a doctoral program, for most of 2021 my soul experienced much weariness. It was not until the last quarter of the year that I was able to properly name my malady. Through a careful analysis of my symptoms, I discovered that though I was plenty busy I was not doing the work that my soul needed to flourish. I’m not saying that what I was doing was wrong or not needed. I am saying that some of those things did not satisfy my soul spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically.
So where do I go from here?
If I’m going to flourish, it will begin with me doing me. Somewhere along the way I lost me. I lost the fact that God has uniquely created me, and any alterations to God’s design ends in utter disaster. I lost the fact that I am not called to everybody, but I am called to somebody. I lost the fact that every move that I make must be aligned to God’s design for my life.
So now what?
What’s the remedy? If I’m to experience pleasure and joy in 2022, it will come with a fresh wind, a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit. I need Her to breathe in me and through me each day. I need Her to gently pull me back when I attempt to venture off in ways that do not bring me joy. I need Her to remind me that my call is a Holy call, and my call does not have to look like that of another. Sometimes, I need Her to loudly shout when needed and to gently nudge when needed. Every time, I need to listen.
So why should you care?
This is my story, but in many ways it’s your story. You may not want to admit it or even be ready to do so. But you can never dismiss the feeling of a weary soul. You will feel it in your bones. You will feel it in your words. You will feel it in your core! It doesn’t have to be this way. Ask the Holy Spirit for a reset, a refreshing, and a regrouping. Move where She takes you.
Happy New Year! Happy Flourishing to You!