Black Women in the Black Church

With love and clarity, I’m here as a big sister and aunt who has been in Baptist pews, meetings, and back rooms long enough to tell you the truth. And so, I will. And so here it is.

I was raised in a conservative Black Baptist tradition where gender roles were and, in many ways, still clearly defined and fiercely defended. Scripture, especially Paul’s words about women keeping silent, was and still as a theological stop sign. Don’t preach. Don’t lead unles it’s mission or adminisrative-related. Don’t question. Don’t challenge. Silence was framed as obedience, and obedience was framed as godliness.

But in 2003, I accepted my call to preach.

And that call forced me to confront a painful reality: much of what we labeled as “biblical” was toxic theology. Much of what we protected as “leadership” was toxic masculinity. That call to preach forced me to name the ways I had not only bought into toxic theology but spewed it in the name of God.

The Silencing Syndrome: When Harm Is Theologized

More than 20 years later, through my womanist lens, I name what many women experience as The Silencing Syndrome, a system of beliefs and practices that trains women to distrust their own voices while sanctifying male dominance.

The Silencing Syndrome is reinforced when:

• Scripture is weaponized rather than interpreted responsibly.

• Women’s submission is emphasized more than men’s accountability.

• Patriarchy is preached as divine order.

• Women are told their calling is “out of season,” indefinitely.

This is toxic theology. It the misuse of God-language to justify control, exclusion, and harm. It teaches women that suffering is sacred, silence is spiritual, and endurance is the proof of faith. This is the same toxic theology that leads to theological malpractice, showing up on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. This is the same toxic theology that emboldens Black

male preachers to call women “$2 whores.” This is the same toxic theology that keeps women in the seats even as they are being demeaned, diminished and dehumanized. But harm wrapped in Scripture is still harm.

The Damage Toxic Masculinity Does in Sacred Spaces

Toxic masculinity in the church doesn’t always look loud or aggressive. Sometimes it looks polished, pastoral, and “well-meaning.” It shows up when male authority must be protected at all costs, even at the expense of women’s wellbeing.

Toxic masculinity teaches that:

• Leadership equals dominance

• Authority must never be questioned

• Women’s voices threaten male identity

• Men’s comfort matters more than women’s calling

  
  

In many Black church contexts, this dynamic was born out of racial trauma. Black men, denied dignity and power in a white supremacist society, sought to reclaim manhood in the one space where they could exert control. But instead of dismantling oppression, patriarchy was baptized. And once again, the oppressed became the oppressor.

Why Women Stayed and Why Silence Became the Price

Black women have always been deeply involved in the church because the church was a site of survival. It fed us spiritually when the world starved us of dignity. It offered

community when society offered hostility. It was a refuge. It was family.

Women taught, organized, fundraised, prayed, nurtured, and built institutions. Nannie Burroughs famously declared, “The Negro Church means the Negro woman.”  Still, even as women sustained the church, their authority was constrained.

Silence became the cost of belonging.

Women learned to:

• Shrink themselves to avoid backlash

• Serve faithfully without recognition

• Carry spiritual labor without power

• Accept exclusion in the name of unity

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The True Cost of Silence

But silence is never free. The cost of silence shows up as:

• Spiritual exhaustion and burnout

• Anxiety and self-doubt

• Disconnection from God’s voice

• Gifted women abandoning ministry or faith altogether

I have watched women internalize rejection and call it humility. I’ve seen them question their sanity because their lived experience didn’t match the theology they were taught. Silence fragments the soul. It teaches women to mistrust themselves and eventually, to mistrust God.

That is not liberation, salvation or Jesus.

Jesus Never Required Women to Disappear

Jesus consistently disrupted toxic theology and toxic masculinity. He spoke with women publicly. He received theological insight from them. He healed them without conditions. He entrusted them with proclamation of the first resurrection.

Jesus never silenced women.

Systems did.

It is time for women to show up, stand up, and speak up—whole, heard, and healed.

Frankly, when we dismantle toxic theology and toxic masculinity, we don’t destroy the church, we help save it.